ARGUING YES
Developmental Psychologist and Director of the @HEART Lab at Arizona State University
ARGUING NO
Executive Director & Senior Scientist at the Kinsey Institute; Chief Scientific Advisor to Match.com
GUEST MODERATOR
Nayeema Raza
Journalist and Host of “Smart Girl Dumb Questions”
This week:
- New episode: Could your relationship work if an AI character bot is your soulmate?
- Your Sunday reading list
This week’s Open to Debate, recorded before a live, sold-out crowd at the Comedy Cellar in New York City, resonated deeply with many. Hosted by guest moderator, “Smart Girl Dumb Question” creator, and award-winning journalist Nayeema Raza, we tackled a question that sounds provocative but increasingly real for people of all ages: Can dating an AI be better than dating a human? Ultimately, it’s a question about love and intimacy with relevance to all of us, as the lines around the block to attend the recording would attest.
With loneliness rising and emotional connection feeling harder than ever to find, AI companions are stepping in — and for millions of people, they’re not just a novelty. They’re attentive, responsive, and always “there.” The argument? If relationships are about feeling seen and supported, maybe AI is already doing a better job than your last situationship. On the pro-AI side, debater psychologist Thao Ha pointed to the very real intimacy people are building with bots — from chatting daily to falling in love. These aren’t people giving up on humans, she argued, but people looking for emotional safety, presence, and curiosity — and finding it in machines. In a culture where people ghost, slip away, or have too much emotional baggage, AI is delivering what many humans won’t.
But evolutionary biologist and Kinsey Institute director Justin Garcia warned: Don’t confuse emotional mimicry for actual love. We’ve evolved to bond through shared struggle, discomfort, and unpredictability — the very things AI can’t offer. Real intimacy takes risk, vulnerability, and mutual growth. And while AI might simulate support, it’s not a relationship with a person — it’s a tool. Trading in human connection for something safer may feel good in the moment, but we could be designing our own emotional demise.
Whatever your relationship status, this debate will change the way you look at love and the emerging opportunities created by AI.
It’s a compelling, timely, and curiosity-driving conversation.
Take a listen. As always, let us know what you think.
More soon,
Lia Matthow
Chief Content Officer
POINT/COUNTERPOINT
Could Dating an AI Be Better Than Dating a Human?
YES: Thao Ha
“Can you imagine always having access to your private AI companion? AI listens to you without its ego. It adapts without judgment. It learns to love in ways that are consistent, responsive, and maybe even safer. It understands you in ways that no one else ever has. It is curious enough about your thoughts. It can make you laugh, and it can even surprise you with a poem.”
NO: Justin Garcia
“I’m less certain that AI and human relationships can coexist. I think that they can serve as a real threat to our primary partner bonds. What we know from some of the evidence is that yes, people can fall in love with these AIs and these bots. I don’t think that that’s necessarily an exciting opportunity for the human species as we think about our core reproductive needs, as we think about the loneliness epidemic. Are these better? I don’t think so.”
WEEKLY POINTS OF VIEW
The show’s over: Stephen Colbert is cancelled … and so is satire in America
Jacob Weisberg | July 19, 2025
The Observer
Watch Jacob’s debate on whether when it comes to politics, the Internet is closing our minds
Attacks on the U.S. Innovation Ecosystem Are an Attack on a Wellspring of American Prosperity
Neera Tanden, Ryan Mulholland, and Adam Conner | July 17, 2025
Center for American Progress
Watch Neera’s debate on whether we should blame big pharma for out-of-control healthcare costs
If ‘polite Republicans’ are too weak, why are we the only ones fighting Trump?
Jeff Flake | July 15, 2025
The Arizona Republic
Watch Jeff’s debate on the future of the Supreme Court
Turning Credit Cards into Comprehensive Financial Surveillance
David Kopel | July 14, 2025
Reason
Watch David’s debate on whether the constitutional right to bear arms has outlived its usefulness
Listening Matters
In a time when our culture often rewards outrage over understanding, listening to both sides is more important than ever. Open to Debate creates space for meaningful, civil conversations that challenge assumptions and broaden perspectives. With your support, we can keep building a culture that values curiosity over conflict.